


Release My Hurting Heart

by asphyl



Series: heartbreak tales [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, F/M, Forbidden Love, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:53:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23311915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asphyl/pseuds/asphyl
Summary: Sequel to 'Put a'hurtin on my heart.'After Renji's death, there is a race against time to investigate what really happened.is he really dead? can he be brought back before time runs out?
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji/Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Byakuya/Original Female Character(s)
Series: heartbreak tales [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676443
Comments: 14
Kudos: 47





	1. Demise

Prologue

_When I heard the news, I was stunned into silence._

_I was broken in an instant._

_I was no more._

_Abarai Renji, my fukutaicho had taken his own life. His body had been found slowly fading into spirit dust by a division eight scout team. His zanpakuto had lain bloody on the floor beneath his feet._

_He had slit his wrists with his own zanpakuto, then he'd hung himself by his long crimson mane and drained out slowly until his death. It must've been a slow and painful death._

_A death I had driven him to._

_What have I done?_

Chapter 1

Demise

Renji had been gone for over 72 hours I sat lost in thought in my office. I should go and report his disappearance but I didn’t want him getting into any trouble. He already was having a hard time adjusting to a life where we could no longer be together.

I wanted to give him time off, I really did but that would have been suspicious. The last time he took off to the human world, he had stayed for a week. He had only come back because I summoned him back. I don’t want to be the one who makes life any more difficult for him now.

I stayed put in my office and tried to work. Of lately the itchy feeling had begun again. It’s worse than the last time. It’s distracting and I'm barely holding myself together, I don’t feel well at all. I hope Renji is having the same problem wherever he is.

That way he would be home in no time and he would come to see me. We can’t afford to be apart for so long. I can’t afford to be apart from him now. Not now of all times that I'm also struggling with my impending nuptials.

An elder from Karini Yuki's household comes in. He's speaking slowly and congratulating me on our intended tying of the knot. I try to hold my head together, and the buzz in my head is going off louder.

The headaches are worse than ever and the dizziness is almost flooring me. I can barely hear what he's saying. I just want him to leave so I can lie down for a bit.

Where the hell is Renji? He's supposed to be here to get rid of all unwanted guests. I miss his presence, I miss his scaring off people from me, and I miss his body…

“Kuchiki-taicho you fucking bastard!” the unexpected cry cut through the midday heat, coming across the sixth divisions grounds.

“You fucking idiot! I hate you! I hate you, you pig!” it sounded like Kira Izuru, Renji's best friend.

A scuffle of feet, a rush followed, “…leave me! LET GO OF ME! I said…” the voice was cut off, probably by a kido user casting a silencing kido. More shuffling then everywhere was quiet.

“What was that about?” the elder paused in his congratulatory message to ask. I simply shook my head softly. I'm afraid I would vomit if I move too much. The elder concludes and leaves me alone to my thoughts

As much as I was a hated character amongst the Gotei thirteen, no one ever mustered the effrontery to insult me to my face. No one… maybe except Renji I think to myself.

Where was he? I wondered but given our last fight, I guess he needs time to cool down. There was no way in all of Hueco mundo and the sereitei that I would be the one to seek peace between us, and especially since I had not been the one who began the quarrel in the first place.

‘ _He'd be back soon, so all I need to do is to pretend my fukutaicho was not away shirking off his duties._ ’ The nagging voice in my head then conflicts itself, ‘ _but he's never gone this long while still in the sereitei_.’ To ignore him or to go look for him, that is the question on my mind.

There is that innate sense of loss within me which I eventually choose to ignore

A few hours later, I receive a hell butterfly from Kyoraku Sou-taicho, he summons me to his office for something urgent the message says. I grudgingly leave my work and shunpo there quickly.

At the door I see a grave looking Sui Feng and Omaeda, her fukutaicho. If they are both here then it is indeed something serious.

In the office Kyoraku stood looking really uneasy behind the Sou-taicho's desk. Jushiro Ukitake, red eyed stood a few meters away looking pale and somber. Isane Kotetsu and her sister lieutenant- Kiyone stood twirling their fingers slightly.

What the hell was going on here? 

My eyes fell on the shiny piece of metal. It was Zabimaru on black silk cloth, resting on Kyoraku’s desk. What was that doing here? Where was Renji? What sort of trouble do I have to rescue him from now?

Kyouraku and Juushirou exchange a look before Kyouraku cleared his throat and said.

“Perhaps you would like to sit down Kuchiki-Taicho.”

“What… why?” I don’t want to give away any sign that Renji was AWOL and get him into further trouble.

“I think you should sit first,” Kyouraku insists

I take the only empty seat as he takes in a deep breath and continues to say.

“Your fukutaicho… Abarai Renji…” he can’t seem to find the words so I try to help him.

“Is he in any form of trouble? Why is Zabimaru here and he's not?” I ask but simultaneously something dark and grave occurs to me

Usually I can feel a steady hum of dislike coming from Zabimaru, because somehow Zabimaru has never liked me and always makes a show of his hate. Today, there's no hum, there's just emptiness. It lies there lifeless.

LIFELESS! LIFELESS!!!

What the fuck! I realize it the same moment Kyouraku says it.

“His body was found disintegrating, hung from a tree by his hair in a forest by the seventy-eight rukongai district. It had been there for days before the scouts found him.”

“What!” I croaked. I stumbled out of my seat fast, very fast. The dizziness descends on me again, this time I know why, I am beginning to understand. “What do you mean by his body? Disintegrating?! Who killed him? How is he dead?”

I took a desperate step towards Kyouraku, while from the corners of my eyes I see Sui Feng and Omaeda creep closer to me taking cautious steps. The Kotetsu girls look distraught, Juushirou eyes water and tears finally run down his face and I realize this was real.

“Abarai fukutaicho is dead, he committed suicide.”

The words slap me very hard, and my knees give way as I finally understand the emptiness I've been feeling, that feeling of impending doom.

I crash to the floor as though in slow motion.

The darkness is upon me I see, as the lights go out.

_I'm in my inner world surrounded by sakura trees. They seem to be growing at a rapid rate at the same time dying rapidly. This is unbelievably an occurrence I have never seen before. It is in such disarray. Fear grips my heart cold._

_Suddenly the trees are arranging themselves into a passage. At the end of the road is a figure clothed in black with flaming red hair. He is walking away from me quickly._

_Though I can’t see his face, I scream his name, “Renji!”_

_I begin to run after him but I'm not fast enough. The faster the trees appear, the farther he gets from me, and every step I take gets me farther away from him._

_The grass beneath my feet begins to die and decompose in seconds, my world is rotting before my eyes but I don’t care. I have to get him back at all costs._

_“Renji” I yell, “Please come back.” Cold drops fall from my face. I am crying desperately, I am also sinking into the mud…no it’s not mud, its quicksand._

_My heart beats faster as I struggle. I sink faster. The horror overcomes me. I am being buried alive in my own world. I am going to die here I realize._

_The quick sand is covering my neck, and I can perceive the smell of rotten sakura leaves. I can’t see Renji anymore, and he doesn’t come to save me._

_“No!” my last cry, my last plea._

_And that is all there is._

_Darkness._

***

Kyouraku I told you not to tell him,” Juushirou queried.

“It had to be done if we are to get to the bottom of this whole mess.” Sui Feng said solemnly.

“What's happening to him Isane?” Kyouraku asked cradling the fallen sixth captain in his arms while the fourth captain tried to check his vital signs.

Isane’s big worried eyes lifted up and she said in a panic, “I'm sorry Sou-taicho but Kuchiki-taicho is dead. There seems to be nothing I can do.”

“What!!!” a chorus of exclamations followed.

“What do you mean he's dead?” Sui Feng asked agitatedly, to which Isane raised the hand she'd used to check his pulse to show them his body had started decomposing into spirit particles.

“At this rate,” she added, “by tomorrow he'd be gone.”

“What the hell?!” Sui Feng swore turning to Kyouraku.

“I told you not to tell him Shunsui.” Juushirou was yelling too, another wave of tears bursting from his eyes.

“Even if I'd not told him didn’t you see he'd realized it as soon as he looked closely at Zabimaru, he was going to find out eventually?”

“This is not good” Sui Feng said, clearly not happy to have witnessed the strange death.

“How is that even possible? How can he just die? Is it even possible to voluntarily die?” Omaeda asked stupidly.

At his words, Kyouraku sprang to his feet and commanded, “Take Kuchiki-taicho to a sterile room at once in division four, somebody get me Kisuke Urahara immediately.”

Kyouraku hands shook for the first time in a long time, if he was dealing with what he thought it was, then he could conclude Byakuya had committed a terrible felony.

One that made him cold to his bones.


	2. Time Racing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Investigations reveal a terrible secret.

Kyoraku Sou-taicho rushed to the fourth division when the hell butterfly alerted him to the presence of Urahara Kisuke in the Sereitei.

“Urahara have you been briefed on the situation? It’s a terrible emergency.” Kyoraku burst into the sterile room in which Byakuya lay.

Particles of spirit dust now floated around in the air. To think they were Byakuya's body was creepy enough. He batted at a particular particle trying to make an escape through the open door.

“Keep the door shut.” Urahara said urgently to Kyoraku handing him a face mask as he pushed the door shut.

Once alone and behind the door, he said in his gentle tone, “I was told he was informed of Renji's death before he lapsed into this ‘coma’.”

“Coma? I thought he is dead?”

“That was me putting it mildly.”

Kisuke just gave a small smile before saying, “With your permission, I will use a forbidden kido to bind his spirit particles together until we can figure something out.”

Kyoraku was a bit dazed at his bold suggestion. How could he even know of such a technique? He was probably the one who invented it? He had always known Kisuke Urahara was a dangerous man to the soul society. Mayuri Kurotsuchi had not even begun to comprehend the meaning of dangerous given comparison to Urahara.

He gave a brief nod and stepped out of the room. He didn’t want to be a witness to terrible things.

Shortly afterwards, Urahara stepped out and said, “Let no one approach the door or go in unless I say so. Come walk with me, let me know how this happened.”

The Sou-taicho and the exiled captain walked out of the fourth division and walked towards the sixth division with Kyoraku finding himself at the end of questions he wasn’t sure he knew how to answer.

“Did you say he lost consciousness when Abarai was lost to us?”

“No it was when I informed him of Abarai's death.”

“Hmmm,” he murmured studiously. “And Abarai was found dead where again?”

“Hanging by his hair in the seventy-eight districts outermost forest. He had slit his wrists it appeared.”

“Hmmm,” Urahara's second ‘hmmm’ sounded grave as he continued, “It must've been slow and painful. What on earth was wrong with Abarai? Has he ever showed any signs of depression, self-harm or suicide? Did anyone notice anything?” 

“Well… apparently Kuchiki-taicho was getting married soon.”

Urahara got a weird look on his face before it turned sly, and then he asked “What has that to do with Abarai?”

“Ummm…rumor has it that they were lovers.” Kyoraku said shifting uncomfortably

“Really?” Kisuke sounded surprised before he added, “A few months ago Abarai fukutaicho came on a surveillance mission and he acted weird the whole time. At first, I thought it was the displeasure of wasting a lieutenant on so simple a mission, and then because I am paranoid, I thought _‘what if he is not the real Renji?’_ So I did something I shouldn’t have done.”

“What did you do?” Kyoraku asked wearily. This was not the time to listen to one of Urahara's experiments or its findings. They almost always lingered at the edge of unacceptability.

But then again, wasn’t that why he sent for the mad scientist? He knew they may have to break a few laws in the Kuchiki- Abarai incident.

“I put something in his gigai and his tea. Nanobots of mutated spirit particles which like a cancer can take the hosts own spirit particles and recreate themselves. I usually use them for surveillance and because I had a dark feeling about his visit I gave it to him without his permission.”

Kyoraku stopped and stared as the blond made his confession on illegally experimenting on one of his officers. He just knew he was about to hear something bad- or incredible as Kisuke continued.

“A few minutes ago, I noticed something. My spirit dust particles were intricately interspersed with Byakuya's, seeing as I hadn’t given them to Byakuya I wondered what they were doing in his body.”

At this point, Kyoraku's mind was speeding along all the legalities he had ever read of and what central 42 would do to him for coming into possession of such knowledge and leaving it unreported. He had to do everything from letting anyone know of Byakuya's demise.

“I have been experimenting with my engineered spirit particles to learn how to control them especially to use them in the building of a gigai from scratch especially in battle situations.”

“Okay,” Kyoraku said trying to follow his reasoning.

“These spirit particles have the basic characteristic of differentiating and replicating themselves at a very rapid rate.”

“Are you trying to say your particles are a direct cause of his accelerated death and decomposition?”

“No! Byakuya is already dead Shunsui that I have no hand in whatsoever.”

“Kami!” Kyoraku swore underneath his breath, so Isane had not lied.

“My particles replicating in him however are the reason you still have a body. I believe also the reason Renji's body could be found, and the reason also my forbidden spell can stall the decay of Byakuya's body and possibly his reiatsu. I would also like to see what the remains of Renji looks like”

Kyoraku was obviously not happy at this recent turn of events. “I ordered the remains be kept in a body bag for now.”

“Great choice, now all I need to figure out is why he died too. Being lovers with Renji would explain how he came in contact with my nanodust, but it doesn’t explain why he died on hearing about Renji's death.”

“You say this so easily, but can Kuchiki-taicho really be dead? Nothing was wrong with him. What report are we supposed to give to the Kuchiki elders and council? Hearing about some ones death is not enough to kill anyone.”

“Really, you think so? I think it’s enough to kill Byakuya especially since that death was Abarai Renji's.”

“What has that got to do with anything?”

“Everything! You said they were lovers. Look how his handled his previous wife's death.”

“I said rumor has it. You know a captain-lieutenant relationship is forbidden here in the Sereitei.”

Kisuke smirked at Kyoraku and said, “That I know too well”.

Kyoraku was the poster boy of the Sereitei for a forbidden relationship, by his relationship with Jushiro Ukitake, but Urahara was not about to talk about it.

“So what are you going to do now?” Kyoraku asked.

“We are going to find evidence of their relationship and explore the possibility and hope of returning at least one of them back to us.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Anything is possible Sou-taicho when you are willing to stretch the mind and the realms of possibilities handed to us by nature, that my dear Kyoraku is the mystery we are going to solve.”

***

Kyoraku and Urahara got to the sixth division and headed straight to Abarai's office. Kyoraku first sent a hell butterfly to the fourth leaving strict instructions to keep knowledge on Byakuya and his lieutenant restricted.

He began to assemble sixths asking for information on who best to speak to on the Renji issue, who best knew the secrets of the sixth division, while Urahara ransacked Renji's desk.

Kyoraku had always felt the position of Sou-taicho was an all-powerful position with which a Shinigami could find out any information. That was until he began interviewing one after the other, division six members.

It was a frustrating task made more difficult by deliberate foolish answers. No one knew anything about their captains’ schedule except Abarai. No one knew where he went to or what he ate or about any plans he had. Some even claimed they were not aware their captain was getting married soon.

No one knew anything about Kuchiki-taicho except Abarai and no one knew where Abarai was except that he was out on a mission.

No one knew what either captain or lieutenant did after office hours, alone or together. No one came near their offices or division rooms during or after working hours except Rikichi Renji's self-appointed personal assistant. Byakuya had no personal assistant- that was what Renji was for.

It would seem to the observer that neither captain nor lieutenant ever shared the same space except during office hours and meetings at the Sou-Taicho’s office.

It was an entirely useless inquisition but Kyoraku was not fooled. He immediately asked for Rikichi and all at once again, no one knew where he was.

Kyoraku was highly frustrated. It was obvious the sixths had banded together in an elaborate lie. He turned to see Urahara beckoning him from a door that led into the captain and lieutenants private rooms on six grounds.

He hesitated for a bit seeing as the sixths with him were giving him death glares as though that would stop him. He dismissed them and retreated as wide eyes watched him accusingly. He was invading the privacy of the sixth without permission.

It was obvious they did not know the division had lost both its leaders in so short a time.

He was led by Kisuke back into Abarai's bedroom where a box lay open, beside it a black box with a red streak across one of its edges.

“Do you know what this box is?” Kisuke asked.

Kyoraku shook his head.

“Look closer Sou-Taicho, you are also of noble blood.”

He looked closer, picked it up and felt its silky texture beneath his fingers. He smiled with fondness at a memory. He could still recall the pride on his father’s face as he handed a silk brown box to him.

“It’s a soul safe.” He said.

“Yes but not only a soul safe, it’s the Kuchiki soul safe but what is it doing amongst Abarai's stuff. It’s a rare artifact handed down through generations in noble families.”

“Yeah, I have one just like this. My father entrusted it to me after my brother’s death but I had to add a lock of my hair to it to be able to use it.” He mused with fondness.

“That is exactly my point. Take a look at this.” Kisuke ran his fingers over the bright red streak at the box edge.

“Red hair,” Kyoraku said solemnly “Is that even possible? Did Kuchiki-taicho do what I think he did? It is forbidden for one of no royal blood to have his hair added to the soul safe. It’s meant to be the life and continuity of the clan saved in a token.”

“Wrong Kyoraku dear, it is not forbidden, it is next to impossible to add hair from a commoner to a soul safe, however it is obvious Byakuya did. He found a way somehow to add Abarai's hair to this box. We both know no one in all the Sereitei has this shade of red hair except Abarai.”

“But how did he do it? How was it woven in?”

“That is a question we may have to ask the Kuchiki weaver, Tsujishiro Kuroemon III.”

They decided to pay a visit to the Kuchiki weaver but before they could leave Renji's room, the door was flung was open and two people tumbled in. An annoyed looking woman with flashing eyes being held unto by a smallish black haired sixth.

“Let go of me you imbecile.” She yelled.

“Get out of Abarai fukutaicho's room you witch.” He responded without missing a beat and reached for a fist full of her hair to yank her out forcefully.

“Rikichi, Karini Yuki.” Shunsui greeted them curtly.

They stopped their struggle to bow and greet in unpracticed unison.

“Sou-Taicho,” they both said in unison before they turned to level death glares on each other once again.

Kisuke chuckled and began fanning himself out of habit. He was about to take a front seat to the show as someone was about to get an ass-whooping. They stopped and noticed Kyoraku was not alone. On seeing Urahara, Rikichi bowed again and greeted, “Urahara Taicho.”

Urahara nodded disappointed at his entertainment getting cut short.

“Rikichi, what is the matter?”

“Sou-taicho sir,” he began “Lady Karini here wants to look in Abarai's room for Taicho. I told her he's not here but she insists on invading his privacy despite knowing she is NOT welcome here. I can’t let this happen.”

“Karini,” Kyoraku said firmly “Byakuya is not here.”

“Then where is he? Abarai fukutaicho always knows where he is. I merely wanted to ask him.” She said as imperiously as she could while trying to ignore the fact her nobility was not enough to stop Rikichi from roughing her up.

Kyoraku feeling stressed signaled for Urahara to give him a minute before saying to Karini, “Follow me.”

They stepped out of Renji's room with Kyoraku speaking in a low tone, urging her to go to the clan and await Byakuya's return as he was off on a mission he-Shunsui- had given him.

“Rikichi,” Urahara pounced, “you're just the man I need.”

“The man you need? How can I help you Urahara-san.”

“I will ask you a direct question and it would be best you do not lie to me. Can you do that?”

Rikichi nodded already scared at being left alone with this man who was legendarily the man who had raised Kurotsuchi Taicho of division twelve into the menace he was.

Urahara was obviously madder and beyond comprehension hence his exile to the human world. And now he was looking at Rikichi as though he was going to be his next experiment.

“Tell me; were your Taicho and fukutaicho lovers?”

Rikichi felt like a deer caught in the glaring halogen lights of a truck bearing down on him with speed. He stared. He swallowed hard, shifted from foot to foot contemplating between loyalty and survival from the madman. Loyalty won out.

“I don’t know Urahara-san,” he stammered.

“Rikichi,” Urahara said gently, trying to sound less threatening “I heard in this division you are Abarai's right hand and definitely his confidante. I heard he also was very much affected by Kuchiki-taicho's impending nuptials.”

“Again Taicho, I don’t understand what that means, I don’t know anything.” Rikichi insisted. He was doing a poor job lying.

Kisuke got up and towered above the boy intimidatingly, his eyes dark and foreboding with imminent threat, piercing his shaky form, he said gravely

“Rikichi-kun, both Byakuya and Renji are dead.”

Rikichi gasped, stepped back in horror as he began to understand the sudden visit of the Sou-taicho and the exiled captain to division six.

“Yes, Sou-taicho and I are investigating their deaths.”

“No! It’s not possible!” Tears had gathered in his eyes and threatened to pour out.

“It is already done but if you know anything at all, and you could know one truth that could save them. If there's a chance of saving them, then you also know that I am the man to do it.”

Rikichi nodded frantically.

“Good. Now you will tell me all I need to know in other to understand their relationship. Perhaps together we can figure out a way to save them… the both of them…together Rikichi.”

“Yes sir.” Rikichi said as the tears finally fell unto his cheeks in lines of despair.

“Now tell me the truth, were Byakuya and Renji lovers?”

Rikichi looked away before he said,” Yes.”

Finally the truth was out.

“Can you give me proof?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of proof?”

“You’d have to follow me Urahara san.”

They left Abarai's room and began walking to Byakuya's room within the division. Rikichi began to speak in a low tune for only Urahara's hearing.

“Abarai fukutaicho and Taicho have been in love with each other for a very long time now. If you ask most people you'd hear them say it was Abarai who loved Taicho more but that wasn’t totally true. I believe Taicho loved Renji much more than anyone ever knew, including Renji himself.”

“Why would you say that? Or even think that in fact?” Kisuke asked. He was of the opinion that Renji was the fool in love with a heartless uncaring man. It was obvious now to him that when Renji had come to the shop the last time, he had been nursing a broken heart.

“I say that because Taicho secretly married Abarai fukutaicho but Abarai does not know about it.”

It took a lot to shock Urahara and this was one of those things that shocked him to his inner soul. He stopped, held unto Rikichi's arm to stop his own forward movement before asking

“Are you sure? I think Kuchiki getting married would be a very public event, much like his upcoming nuptials.”

Rikichi smirked disdainfully, “Not if he's marrying his fukutaicho, it won’t.” Rikichi looked serious.

“Please explain.”

“Let me show you instead.”

They entered Byakuya's room as Rikichi began saying while heading for the inner room, “Sorry for the mess, Taicho only gets me to clean when he was coming to spend the night. He didn’t spend the night here recently.”

The room looked a bit scattered as though it had been hastily exited by its occupant.

Rikichi went to a drawer and pulled it open, drew out a paper wrapping and opened it. He drew from it a robe and laid it almost ceremoniously reverent on the bed and spread it open. It was a light green and cream robe with gold embroidery.

Urahara recognized it as a Kuchiki ceremonial robe, most likely a wedding robe. It had the Kuchiki crest on the right breast and Byakuya's crest on the left. Next Rikichi laid beside it a crimson woven rope.

“Come with me again.”

This time they ended up in Abarai's room again with Rikichi pulling an exact copy of the robe from Renji's wardrobe. Beside Renji's robe, Rikichi laid the white scarf, another memento of nobility found in Abarai's possession- the _Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu_

This was the fabled scarf of the Kuchiki heir, worth ten mansions in the Sereitei, which he reportedly stopped wearing after the ryoka invasion. It was a symbol of his nobility.

“This robe was a gift to Abarai on his one hundred and forty-eight birthday from Kuchiki-taicho who took him to the Kuchiki weaver. There his measurements were taken and the robes made. Twin robes of the Kuchiki are usually made for a husband and a wife.” Rikichi concluded.

Even Urahara was shifting uneasily now as he began to see there was more to the death of Kuchiki-taicho than he was anticipating.

“Renji had protested for weeks about the colors, he wanted blue, gold and orange. Something flashy he said.” Rikichi mused with fondness, “Kuchiki-taicho however insisted on the green, cream and gold. That was also the week I delivered a lock of red hair to the weaver.”

Urahara began to fan himself faster. It was as he and Kyoraku guessed.

“Urahara-san, did you know that every lock of hair on a soul safe is comprised of the hair of a nobleman and his wife's? It’s possible to add such a person’s hair to the safe only after they are married.”

“I don’t recall reading about that in the books.”

“That is because it is a Kuchiki clan secret. The weaver told me he couldn’t weave in just any hair that was not from a Kuchiki head. I believe you should see him for more information. He has to have used some secret weaving technique to enable him to weave Abarai's hair into the soul safe.”

“This doesn’t prove anything Rikichi. They may just be gifts from a Taicho to his favorite officer.”

“If he isn’t then where did this come from?”

Rikichi reached further into the wardrobe and pulled something out, a familiar piece of jewelry.

Urahara reached for it and discovered it was a piece of the keisenkan. He tried to hide his surprise

“After the war, Kuchiki-taicho started putting on two pieces of the keisenkan on both sides of his hair with the middle piece separated from the rest. That piece is what you hold now. He gave it to Renji, his own crown.”

“That is also forbidden by Kuchiki laws.”

“Not if that person is your spouse Urahara Taicho. I know somehow the two of them are connected by a marital bond, else why would they die at the same time?”

Rikichi had a point there. Urahara turned the revelations in his mind around. His one conclusion being, Rikichi was right about one thing, he had to still go and see the Kuchiki weaver. He was beginning to suspect the possibility of a terrible offense committed by Kuchiki-Taicho.

If he was right, it also meant Kyoraku had the same suspicion and that was the reason he called for him.

If Byakuya had used the ancient forbidden soul rite, abolished by the soul king eons ago, due to its dire consequences on both parties involved; if Byakuya had cast that forbidden spell on himself and Renji, then he knew there was both hope and despair.

Time was not on his side.

Urahara rushed out of the room without a further word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am much appreciative of the response to this story.   
> In anticipation of more kudos, comments, bookmarks and hits lets share showers of kisses.
> 
> if you have time check out my other stories of the misadventures of Renji and Byakuya.


	3. Restore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Urahara gets a breakthrough with consequences.

Tsujishiro Kuroemon the third, the weaver of the noble houses of the Sereitei was busy at his work station when Urahara arrived at his establishment. His apprentices were also busy trying to meet up with several jobs to be completed, some weaving, and some cutting cloth, some playing around with a mannequin.

When Urahara greeted him, he merely received a nod in return.

Urahara drew closer and said, “I'm sorry but I have to speak to you about a certain delicate matter”

He did not pause in his weaving, he simply said, “Go ahead Urahara Kisuke, everyone in the Sereitei knows that when an exiled captain starts walking freely around that something serious is going on. Say what you want to say as you can see, I'm quite busy.”

“This is a very sensitive case.” Urahara stressed.

“Say what you have to say Urahara-san, I'm listening.”

“It’s about Kuchiki-taicho and his marriage to Abarai Renji.” Urahara said finally with a sigh.

The weaving stopped abruptly. He cast a kido spell to hold his work in place, stood up and said with an angry whisper. “Follow me.”

They retreated into a back room, away from the other weavers with Urahara having a smug smile on his face. He should have known that he would want to hide his sins instead of being rude and uncooperative.

Inside the room, that had turned out to be his office; Kuroemon sat and stared keenly at Urahara with a blank stare. Kisuke was determined to not be intimidated. He knew that look anywhere he saw it, it was the look of a guilty man.

“Do not waste my time Tsujishiro san, tell me everything you know.”

“I don’t know anything about anything.” The weaver was adamant in his denial.

“Weaver-san, surely you know I'm the man that knows all about forbidden kido. I saw what you did back there. You cast a spell to hold the weaving as though you never stopped weaving. A skill needed to produce the kind of quality weaving your clan is known for.”

The weaver was unshaken in his inference. He maintained his silence.

“It takes certain skill to perform kido like that; skill which I am sure might’ve been used to enact another type of forbidden kido.” Urahara accused.

“You can't prove anything. Again Urahara-san, I don’t know anything about anything.”

“Kuchiki Byakuya is dead and so is his lieutenant.” Kisuke announced abruptly, taking his fan out to begin slow lazy sweeps in the air.

He saw the instant fear that rose in the weavers eyes.

“You see the strange thing about it all is that they both didn’t die in battle. One took his life and the other spontaneously followed suit. I was called in to… let’s say figure it all out, maybe find out who’s to blame and perhaps a scapegoat.” He let his eyes rest accusing on the weaver.

The weaver looked really uncomfortable at this revelation. A bead of sweat forming at his temple quickly ran down the side of his face.

“You and I are both aware that participation in the forbidden rite of blood soul tying is an act punishable by disintegration at the Soukyoku. Not that it exists anymore now that the substitute reaper went and destroyed it but I'm sure you understand my point.”

Urahara snapped the fan shut and fixed his gaze on the weaver and said, “Tell me weaver-san and tell me the truth. Who else was involved in the soul tying of division six’ captain to his lieutenant. I need to know the exact method used before I can do something to reverse it.”

A light of hope sprung into the weavers eyes so Urahara continued.

“You and I know there's a time gap between one partners death to the others death whose singular purpose was to give time for its unbinding. I'm sorry we no longer have the luxury of time so pardon me but if you don’t speak up, I would be forced to report the matter to the necessary authorities and you will spend the rest of your life weaving in the maggots nest or worse yet frozen in suspended animation.”

The weaver had a look of horror on his face now at the ideas of possible punishments meted out to him. He got up from his seat and opened a hidden safe in the wall behind him. He pulled out a jade chalice, a wrapped needle sat on the inside. He also pulled out a paper and placed them at Urahara's front on the desk between them.

“In the matter of Kuchiki Byakuya and his lieutenant, these were the instruments used in the weaving by me. I did nothing except what I was instructed to by the client, lord Kuchiki.”

“I want to know who performed the soul tie, I want to know how it was performed, and I want to know who else was involved damnit!” Urahara was beginning to feel frustrated with the reluctance shown by everyone involved with this case.

“I can't tell you anything else Urahara san, I can't tell you what I don’t know.”

“Then tell me everything you know, even the tiniest detail may be of help.”

After a long pause, the weaver decided to comply against his ethics of privacy.

“One night, a few years ago, I was summoned to the Kuchiki mansion. When I got there I was ushered in through the back, so you won’t find my visit in their official records.”

“Ok, go on.”

“Kuchiki-taicho had a weird request. He wanted to know if I had the skill and sense of privacy to assist him in casting a forbidden spell. 'A forbidden weaving session,' he said. He was direct in his desire and I told him it was a crime to be involved in such a thing. He said it was only a crime if it was not a Kuchiki tradition.”

“A Kuchiki tradition? Are you saying he was going to make it into a Kuchiki law? I ask because I don’t know of any such tradition currently.”

“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t know, however I told him all skills necessary for any sort of weaving had been passed down to me. He told me he would be in contact.”

Urahara had begun to fan himself quickly listening to this confession. He always got excited when solving any type of mystery.

“When he contacted me again, it was through his personal bodyguard, Tobu who delivered a package to me. I don’t know if he knew what was in it though.”

“So what was in it?” Urahara asked impatient.

“This jade chalice, the needle, the paper of instructions with specifications and some jewels. I sent the jewels back because my skills are not up for sale.”

Kisuke looked at the paper, on it were specifications for a robe.

“You wove a blood robe then.” Kisuke concluded on the matter.

“I wove two blood robes.”

“Was there any blood in the cup?” Kisuke asked looking at the cup all over.

“No. You don’t understand do you?” the weaver asked.

“Understand what?”

“The needle is the blood.”

“Huh? What are you still doing with it then?”

“With the right kido spell and the know-how, blood can be crafted into the needle needed for the weaving of a blood robe. I kept them as evidence in case it was discovered I was involved. A proper investigation would show I didn’t craft the needle.”

“Who crafted the needle then?”

“I don’t know, perhaps you should ask Tobu, Byakuya's manservant.” The weaver said but the look on his face said it had to be Byakuya.

“Thank you for your help.”

Urahara left feeling more frustrated than when he began talking to the weaver, he was no closer to cracking the case of the method used for the soul tie. As he rushed to the sixth division to look for Byakuya's manservant, he ran into Kyoraku.

“Any luck, any update?” Kyoraku asked quickly. He had obviously been searching for Urahara.

“Kyoraku Sou-taicho, we are running out of time and I fear I might be unable to crack this case in time.”

“What exactly is the matter?”

“It seems Kuchiki-taicho married his fukutaicho in a blood soul rite ceremony.”

When Kyoraku showed no signs of surprise, it confirmed what he suspected. He merely asked Urahara “Any reason why he would do that? Didn’t he know the consequences of that?”

“The real question is why wouldn't he do that? He had to have been in love with Renji but what drove him to that extreme? That is what we must figure out fast.”

“In that case, we need someone to research the blood soul tie procedure and how to reverse it quickly. I will go and see Jushiro at once.”

“Good. I am on my way to talk to Tobu, Kuchiki-taicho's bodyguard. It was he who delivered the blood needle to the weaver.”

“Blood needle?”

“Let me explain as we shunpo.” Urahara urged.

"The soul tie ceremony rite was held in the days of the soul king’s initial reign. If the soul king granted two shinigami warriors permission, usually those who protected the king, it became possible that by this way of binding, shinigami gave half of their souls to the other person so that if one were killed in battle the other could revive him by returning the other half’s soul within him.”

Kyoraku was silent and solemn as Urahara continued, after all it was as he had suspected.

“It was a way of binding mainly practiced by the soul kings bodyguards so as to ensure the only way to kill one is to kill both, that way the soul king never ran out of loyal guards. Someone got a hold of that knowledge and modified it into a marital ceremony which allowed shinigami bind to their chosen mates.”

“It meant they would share soul together and never be truly separated in loneliness or adversity but it had its adverse effects.”

“What side effects?” Kyoraku asked.

“As all kido which made their way onto the forbidden list, this way of binding would cause the two souls to fall so deeply in love with one another to the point they couldn’t stay away from each other for long.”

“What if they made an attempt to do so?”

“Both would wither away if apart for more than a few months. Worst of all if one died, they had just a few days to reverse the process. And if it was the one with the know how to unbind the spell who died, the other had about three days to live before joining the other in death.”

“But Kuchiki-Taicho…” Kyoraku began

“Yes, our seventy two hours are long past.”

“Goodness, is there no way to reverse this?”

“I have an idea, but first I must find out what process was used to bind in the first place. I would appreciate it if Jushiro helped me out with his own research.”

“Does that mean there is some hope?”

“I can't say for certain, the way of binding determines what kido can be used for unbinding but I have never seen one where the blood was crafted into a needle or even known anyone skillful enough to craft blood into a needle.

Urahara sounded worried. It was never a good sign when Urahara was worried. This was a classic case of why that marriage custom had become forbidden.

The two captains parted ways, each to their missions.

***

Tobu was sitting and waiting patiently at the sixth division’s gate. As soon as Urahara was in sight, he got up and greeted, “You're welcome Urahara-san, this way please.”

A bit surprised at his cooperation, Urahara followed him silently until they got to Kuchiki mansion, he led them in through a doorway in the back. Even now, the man was keeping this private from the members of the clan.

He ended up in Kuchiki-taicho's room where he said, “We can speak privately here.”

“Ok.”

“You must be here for the truth. Before I say anything, I must ask first, do you have a chance at reversing its effects?”

“I haven’t told you why I am here.” Urahara protested.

“But I know why. Rikichi sent me a message.”

“I see.” 

So the two of them were well involved in the affair between Kuchiki-taicho and his lieutenant.

Tobu went to the dresser situated underneath the largest window in the room and ruffled through it before bringing out a thick leather bound book. He laid it on the table and gestured for Urahara to take a look at it.

“What is it?”

“It is Kuchiki-taicho's forbidden kido text.”

“Really?” he pounced on the book and began to turn its pages.

“Kuchiki-taicho was a revered kido master. He took his time to develop himself and become well versed in all kinds of kido. I'm sorry to say but he also practiced forbidden kido.”

“Hmmm,” Kisuke muttered to himself while thinking to himself that Byakuya practiced the forbidden arts yet he was the one in exile, how ironic.

“And about the marriage to his fukutaicho?”

“Ah yes, its kido number one hundred and eighty three, blood binding soul tie.” Tobu said easily.

“What was his motive? Why would he cast such a spell in the first place? Didn’t he know the consequences?” he asked turning quickly to the numbered page.

Tobu slid another book towards Urahara saying, “Perhaps you should read this.”

“What is it?”

“A book I won’t dare to read out loud or mention its content but it would give an idea of his motive. The most important thing now is if you can reverse what has been done.”

Kisuke began to read through the spell written in Byakuya's neat calligraphy. Reading through it alone revealed the terrifying degree to which Byakuya had gone to meticulously research the spell.

The spell gave its caster the power to revive his dead partner to which Byakuya noted underneath, a desire to do so even in the middle of a heated battle.

It also gave the power to switch places with a dead partner or one at the receiving end of a deathly blow. It gave the option of fighting at maximum power as long as the other partner remained unhampered by restrictions such as anger or fear, anything that destabilized emotions.

The first quarter of his notes described the spell and its uses. The second quarter described the ancient rites used between the soul kings warriors. The third quarter was on the pros and cons of the spell in general, its precautions and warnings. The last quarter described Byakuya's changes and improvements upon the original spell. And people called him an evil genius, obviously they had never seen Byakuya's forbidden kido text.

The first and foremost warning was that the two partners had to be people not in love with one another else there would be an aggravated reaction to the binding, causing deepening of feelings post spell. If that happened it may cause instability of emotions flowing from one end of the blood tie to the other.

Although Kisuke did not fully understand, he jumped the pros and cons to the next part of the notes containing Byakuya's procedure outlined. It seemed quite simple.

_Collect blood. Create blood needle. Weave the binding sash and blood robes. Tie both parties in ceremony and recitation of vows. Untie sash and split into four. Weave blood sash into incorporating rope for robes, get monument._

It seemed too easy in outline but Kisuke knew the processes involved were multiple and probably done with complicated steps involved.

There was a warning below as a footnote, which said- ‘Remember every blood soul tie is different. Bind only with consent of both parties.’

“Tobu, did Renji consent to the blood tie?”

“I'm afraid I am not so sure sir.”

“Are you saying Kuchiki-taicho cast a forbidden spell on his fukutaicho without his consent?”

Tobu merely gave him a pointed look at the diary on the table. Urahara put aside the spell book, picked up the diary and opened it. The first entry was not dated. It simply said.

_“Abarai fukutaicho. I like the way it sounds.”_

The next entry- _‘Apparently he is the sixth man of the eleventh division. I guess I have to be careful.’_

The book chronicled in short statements, Kuchiki-taicho's obsession with ‘the red haired beast of the Sereitei.’ It was almost clinical in description. All the things Kuchiki-taicho had observed about Renji had been documented down.

How he plotted and eventually got him to the sixth from the eleventh. All the events not made known to the public on the behind the scenes politics in clan Kuchiki when he had announced he was taking a fukutaicho from the eleventh.

He described Renji's enthusiasm on arrival at the sixth, their _‘date’_ at the tailors for Renji's new uniform. Each day they worked together, adapting to each other’s presence, and eventually the hellish plan to seduce his fukutaicho and bind his soul to his.

It seemed unreal to Urahara and devoid of passion with nothing suspicious until the bookmarked page.

_‘Abarai has sent the sample of his blood. He assumes I'm going to use it to only aid his opening of the soul safe. I do not believe he understands what a soul safe is.’_

The casting of kido 183 was detailed next.

_Kido 183 is much easier than I had previously imagined it to be. It gives me no residual headaches as most upper level kido's do. The blood mixed irrevocably and easily threads down in drops into the thin plates. The plates combine as though beaten into shape forming the blood needle. Its really beautiful to behold._

The next entry- _Tobu is back from the weaver’s home with the sash. I expect Abarai to arrive by midnight._

The final entry was written- _It is done._

It was the last in the journal. It made no real sense. It gave no clues on how to reverse it at all.

“Tobu it ends abruptly. I see no reason here.”

“Urahara san, Kuchiki-taicho has never been a man of many words, however what was important, he put down. You must decode his every intention from the few words registered.”

There was no other sane reason apart from the blatant obsession Byakuya had for his fukutaicho. What needed to be decoded was, did Renji know his captain had been driven mad by his obsession?

“Very well, so the monument is the soul safe of clan Kuchiki?” Urahara continued.

“Yes it is but I do not know where it is.”

“That I do.”

A plan forming in his head, Urahara retrieved the spell book, and all the evidence gathered so far in the casting of the deadly spell and returned to the fourth division where he met up with Jushiro Ukitake. They put heads together coming up with a solid plan and procedure to reverse the spell while Kyoraku ensured no one knew what they were doing.

From Jushiro reading through, they figured out that Byakuya may have found a way to extend the time frame between revivals of dead partners from three days to an unknown amount of time, which meant they had to act quickly before all was lost.

He requested for the remains of Abarai fukutaicho and his zanpakuto to be brought in to the room. What was left was his skeleton and surprisingly it had his head full of hair not yet fallen.

Dressed up in masks and a body suit, he reentered the room and laid Renji on the bed beside Kuchiki-taicho. Immediately, spirit particles began to flow from Byakuya's body to his skeleton clinging and multiplying reforming a body.

This might work. Urahara thought to himself as he repeated the spell to bind the particles to Abarai's body just as he had done to Byakuya's earlier. Ukitake came in similarly dressed and aided in taking off their clothes and clothing them in their blood robes. At once they noticed the particles increased in their speed of multiplication.

Taking Byakuya's hand, he extracted blood from his arm and introduced into the receptacle of the soul safe. It began to glow and then sprung open. He laid the safe at Renji's feet, and took out the papers in it to read through as he stepped out.

The papers contained some work papers, some clan papers but one detailed the location of Kuchiki-taicho's personal safe in his house.

Another wild goose chase found him at Kuchiki-taicho's residence again looking for the safe. He found it and opened it with the blood he had extracted. This safe did not glow. He knew he had hit the Jackpot, that the weaver had not told him the complete truth that he had woven another safe for Byakuya.

In it he found several other papers, a piece of the keisenkan and finally a booklet detailing the night of his ‘marriage to Renji.’ He was ecstatic. He knew a man like Byakuya was too careful to not document in great detail his descent into forbidden waters.

The spell was cast at the second hour of the night, he and Renji had recited the spell together. He had written that Renji thought this was about being able to open the safe whenever Kuchiki-taicho needed something from it. Urahara didn’t want to believe anyone could be so naïve, he suspected Renji had an idea of what was going on.

Then he was reading through the details of how Kuchiki-taicho made love to Renji _'to consummate their union'_. He had ended it with, _“Its my wedding night. I enjoyed it far better than I had imagined it.”_

The last page had details of how to undo what he had done.

Urahara realized with no small horror that Byakuya had used multiple spells to achieve his aim. Even if he undid one, how was he sure the other would be complete in its undoing? What side effects would be left behind?

He realized Byakuya had used a version of the kido spell used to create the vaccine he had used to create the Vizoreds, he called his version, _forbidden night_. And the spell had been executed within two hours after midnight.

Luck was on his side though, he was the inventor of the vaccine and he was highly skilled at kido. Maybe he was not as skilled in it as Byakuya had been to create this monstrous binding but he was going to give it his best shot.

On comparing notes with Jushiro's research, he could see why Byakuya needed the Vizoreds spell. Abarai's beast, Zabimaru was hollow like in nature.

It was no wonder when Renji had taken his life even Zabimaru had left the metal blade. It was crazy as it was serious. The binding of not only shinigami but also his soul reaper, effectively denied him of rest even in death. It was a felony of epic proportions which even he could not have imagined.

Were Kuchiki-taicho to be woken up eventually, he ought to be jailed for a crime this high, but in another way there was hope because of his high crimes. He might be forgiven if all went well.

Urahara Kisuke knew how to undo the spell and he made his first attempt in the dead of the night, within the two hours after midnight.

***

I am saved. My eyes open and though I can scarce see anything I realize I can breathe and the smell of rotting sakura is gone.

In fact as my eyes adjust, I am lying on my back on solid ground and the trees surrounding me are shedding their leaves softly once again. The gentle breeze carried a fading scent of cinnamon and sandalwood once again across my nose and I recall all at once.

Renji!!

I struggle to my feet. I don’t see him anywhere. He's gone. He's too far that I can barely make the figure out in a distant horizon. I try to run after him. My feet are heavy and I feel very tired like a part of me was drained suddenly.

I decide to shunpo. Every step takes me farther away from him instead and I realize with growing horror that I would never catch up with him. I panic.

I yell out his name. I call for him to turn back. I feel a desperation I have never felt before. I begin to cry at the feeling of hopelessness. I have to get him back. It's all I can think of.

I beg. I beg like a child. I beg him to stay. I beg him to hear me. I beg him to see I am sorry, I'm not too proud to beg anymore. There is no dignity in my loss, no pride whatsoever. I see as I have always seen that I need Renji.

Can I just… please… it's too late. I throw myself on the floor and wail, my chest burns and I grab it in hopes of stopping the tremendous pain I feel. I feel a tug on my chest and notice a scarlet rope hanging out my chest like a hollows chain.

The scarlet rope is unraveling and I grab it and begin to pull until I meet its origin, embedded in my heart. It threads down my chest body and disintegrates into a light thread whose end lies forward lost down the dark pathway Renji has walked.

I begin to pull it and follow it into the darkness. By god I will, it is not over yet. It can't be over. I am going to get back my fukutaicho from the other side. It is as I have always wanted it.

I pull hard, I pull desperately, I'm not letting go. I keep pulling until my two palms are cut and stained with blood. The rope is soaked in blood and the smell of blood gets stronger and begins to choke me. The darkness engulfs me but I am not bothered.

I pull until I see the light. It is very faint and far but it's there. I ran along towards it still following the scarlet thread. Surely I will find what I seek at the end of the rope.

It's been days. It's been nights. It's been a lifetime without him. I pull. I run. I know I might be dead but if I am then so is he. If he is dead, then we must be together even in death. I pull until I collapse in the dark from exhaustion.

“Renji,” I beg, “please come back to me. I need you.”

Silence.

“Renji I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please come back to me.” I beg louder yet almost incoherent. “I need you. Remember, I belong to you. You belong to me.”

Silence.

Everything goes black once more.

When my eyes open again, I'm looking at white plaster ceiling. The air smells of disinfectant, I'm in a hospital room. Breathing hurts and my throat is dry but all I can think to croak out is, “Renji.” 

I hear a noise and then I see the head of the Gotei thirteen, Kyoraku Shunsui looking amazed at me.

“Kuchiki-Taicho?” he says disbelievingly, “Are you with us Kuchiki-Taicho.”

“R…r….Renji.” I kept trying to say as I begin my attempt at standing up.

“Don’t exert yourself. You'd be strong in no time and then you can get up.” He urged.

 _“I want Renji and I want Renji now.”_ I demand in my head. I can't seem to voice out my need. My throat feels so sore like a sharp knife had been used to cut open my throat.

What happened to me? I feel sore everywhere. I close my eyes and let the dark take me again.


	4. Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji negotiate… or not

I must be dreaming of him. He's come to my room as I sit working and he's looking at me grinning happily but he doesn't talk. He just goes to the bed, lies on it and stares at me, still grinning.

“Renji, don’t you have somewhere else to be?” I ask.

He shakes his head, and his voice is clear inside my head, “Nowhere else to be Kuchiki-Taicho.”

I smile and turn back to what I was doing thinking to myself that Renji was hilarious.

When my eyes open again, this time it is Rukia’s face I see, her eyes tearing and she looks very worried. She smiles at me and says in her signature worried voice full of relief, “I'm so glad Nii-sama.”

She holds my hand and begins to cry.

One glance to the bed beside mine reveals it’s empty. I close my eyes and the black is upon me once more.

The next time I'm awake, Kyoraku is back. He's whispering in a corner with none other than Kisuke Urahara. I think it’s troublesome, I try to sit up and it alerts them that I'm awake making them rush to my side.

“Byakuya you must stay still.” Urahara says urgently.

“Why? I want to… stop!” I protest against their hands pushing me downwards to lie back. Where the hell is Renji to control them?

“Abarai fukutaicho.” I try to demand but it comes out as a weak whisper.

“He's fine. He will be by to see you soon, just lie down.” Kyoraku says hastily.

“Ok.” I whisper. That puts me at rest but I know there is something wrong. Kyoraku is lying to me and I don’t know why.

I know there's something the both of them are not telling me. There are too many tubes attached to my skin for one and the room feels empty.

I want to leave.

Abarai will understand me.

It’s going black again and I try to fight it but I go under again.

***

When my eyes open, I see the sakura gardens, they're blooming again. It’s an odd thought because I'm not sure anymore when they stopped blooming. Sitting on the bench in the midst of the garden is Renji. He was staring at me. He looks sad and wistful somewhat.

“Renji.” I said felling happiness creep into my heart.

“Kuchiki-Taicho.” He replies sounding apprehensive.

“What's the matter Renji?” I ask walking to him to sit on the bench beside him with the sense of happiness blooming greater in my heart. I don’t remember why I am not surprised he is here. I also can't seem to remember why he's not supposed to be here.

The next thing he says unsettles me. Perhaps it’s the tone of his voice. Either way I don’t know why he sounds angry.

“How could you? Why won’t you let me go?”

“Let you go? Where do you want to go Abarai?”

“Far away from here. Far away from you.” He stated emphatically.

“Why? Don’t you know that it is impossible? I could never let you go. You belong here with me.” I say as gently but firm to drive home my point.

“Even in death?” He asks looking at me with trepidation, showing the fear that has begun to grow within him clearly on his face. It feels like he's just realizing how terrifying I am and he can't help his reaction to me.

It’s a fear that transfers to me quickly. I feel cold inside, cold with fear. I grab his hand in one fluid movement and squeeze gently while saying as softly as I can say to convey how important this is to me.

“You're mine Abarai Renji, whether in life or death. I'd never let you go. Even in your next life, our next life, I will find you after I have followed you. Don’t you know I love you?”

He stares at me in growing horror until I cannot stand the pain in his eyes which have filled up rapidly with tears that threatened to spill over and unto his tanned cheeks.

I put my arms around him and pull him close. “Hush! Shh shh it’s ok…Its ok fukutaicho. Everything will be just ok I promise. I'd never give you up no matter what.” I say quickly trying to comfort him. His tears make me feel a sense of dread.

“Is that why you married me?”

His question takes me aback as it is not a topic he and I have discussed in certain terms. How does he know it was a marriage binding I conducted? Does he think it is legal? I tense up and he feels my body coil up in defense. I am not ready to discuss the truth with Renji.

“It wasn’t really a marriage.” I say quietly wishing it wasn’t as close to a lie as it was.

“Why did you do it?”

“I told you. I'd never let you go, not now, not ever. Not now that you have returned to me.”

“But you did not choose me when it mattered.”

“And yet here you are in my inner world, a place no man besides me has ever laid foot.”

He was silent for a while before he said again, “You said it was not really a marriage.”

I smile wistfully, I know I am about to lie the pants off Renji. I know he will feel it in this place of shared emotions but I am aching with a longing within my heart that yearns for resolution. I need this feeling to be gone.

“No it’s not really a marriage.” I begin to explain as I cringe inside at the lie. “A Kuchiki marriage means I'd present you before the council.”

“I have followed you to council meetings before.” He argued interrupting me.

“I would also show you to my entire family and wed you in a big ceremony.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Renji was packing his punches and aiming at all my feeble arguments, tearing the entire fabric of deceit between us to shreds.

“Why did you bind my soul to yours the way you did? You also bound Zabimaru.” He accused hotly and I blush in shame at being caught but I persist in my defense.

“They’d have never accepted you. They would’ve had you killed in the end, just as they did my first wife.”

Renji tensed up sharply and drew back a bit before he whispered hoarsely in horror, “Hisana… was murdered?”

I gave no replies. I only have my suspicions. I am yet to prove it, but I must say something to my paramour.

“I always regretted not doing more to protect her. I was not going to make the same mistake with you. I researched until I found out how to keep you safe, to protect you.”

“How is this protection if we are both dead?”

“I'm alive when I'm with you. Have you not noticed?” I knew I sounded selfish at this point but I was not about to change my mind

Renji got this unsure look on his face then he is asking the question I knew we had to deal with soonest.

“And Karini Yuki?”

“I'm afraid I must wed her.” I say feeling tired at the prospect.

“Even if it’s hurting me, if it is hurting you? Because if you don’t see it, it’s hurting me… and you.” He sounds grave.

When I say nothing in reply he adds in a sad whisper, “It’s killing me Byakuya.”

I say nothing still. I can't say anything. I remember now what had happened. Renji hadn’t been able to deal with the pressure of losing me.

He had killed himself.

He had killed us.

I can't allow it any further than it has gone. I can't undo what has already been done.

It was killing Renji. It was killing me also.

“Am I supposed to just let you go or to give you to her without a fight? Or even a protest? Must you choose her over me? If you must, then let me go.” Renji sounds desperately hurt as he spoke drawing out of my arms.

“Don’t you get it Renji, I never chose her. She was chosen for me. It is my duty I fulfill when I wed her and your duty to support me when I do.”

Renji has that horrified look on his face again and I am once again feeling the dread of fear but I have already begun my own protest. I cannot stop now.

“I have already done my best to show you that you are my first choice, my only choice. As you can see my soul is bound to yours. You decide my fate as I decide yours. You can kill me anytime you want to.”

I am feeling horribly upset as I feel the imbalance of emotions putting pressure on the bonds between us but I still persist in my explanation, one that I should have known was unacceptable but I don’t care, I will say anything to keep things the way they were before.

“Karini Yuki will share my name and sometimes my bed. Perhaps she will give me an heir but she will never share my soul. She will never get her blood into clan Kuchiki's memory safe. She has never been more than you are to me and she will never get that chance. That is my choice Renji. Do you not see my heart in this?”

Renji is not saying anything but he is weeping gently and I pull him into my arms again. I know he feels the pain of me getting a wife is killing him, I know because I feel it too. I'm a coward in this instance, I'm not willing to say no to the council’s decision for me to be married, but I'm also not willing to give Renji up.

Its pure greed, I know.

I'm being selfish, I know.

I should just undo the binding between us but I cannot do that. It’s not as simple as it should be.

“Things will never be the same between us, will they?” He sobbed sounding small yet resolved.

“Things never remain the same in life Renji.”

“Once you're wed, I can never be with you again, surely you know that.” He says.

“I know that.” I reply quietly, “You're an honorable man, and it goes without saying that I am not.”

He's crying louder now. He's so distressed I want to stop the pain. I feel a glimpse of his emotions, at the raging despair he felt, which drove him to the point of ending his life and inadvertently mine. It is made worse now by his knowledge that even in death he won’t escape me. I would bring him back every time.

My mind is fixed. He has to cry himself out, I will wait, but he cannot leave me.

“Please Byakuya.” He begs, “I need… you…to…”

“I need you Renji please stay with me.” I beg before he can finish his own statement.

“Please don’t torture me.” He begs as his sobs are getting louder and he tries to reason with me.

I shift closer to him, hold him closer and he buries his face in the crook of my neck.

“Please Kuchiki-Taicho, undo the blood tie, I beg you.” He pleads through sobs and I feel the heavy drops of tears wet my shoulders. My emotions waver as I feel his pain but I know my answer before I say it out loud.

“Renji don’t you remember the promise you made me, the night of the blood tie?”

“You told me nothing about the tie.” He accused

“But you knew didn’t you? When I tied the sash around our arms and wrists, you felt it didn’t you? You felt the power of the blood sash weaving through our reiatsu’s. You felt the process of us bonding to become one and you didn’t stop me. You didn’t even protest.”

Renji's sobs quieted but I could still feel the wet tears on my skin flowing. I continued to say because in this business the both of us were not innocent.

“You stared me in my eyes all through the binding, then you said to me, ‘nothing will take me from you Kuchiki-Taicho, nothing can separate us now.’ Do you remember Renji?”

He pulls away from me as though trying to escape the reality of what we both did.

“And you said- I belong to you Renji, in life and in death,” he whispered painfully to me, slowly realizing I had given him ample warning of what I was capable of.

“Yes Renji, in life and death, so don’t ask me to let go of you now.” I whispered back fiercely, squeezing his hand in mine.

He is quiet for a while before he says again, “I slept with Ichigo.”

I do not miss a beat in my reply, “And I will sleep with Karini eventually. Do what you must to survive for me.”

Renji with a startled expression looks at me weird and asks, “You haven’t slept with her yet?”

“No.” My confession is long overdue.

“But… I saw… you both… her nipples were… I thought…” Renji stuttered, his eyes widening with shock as he realizes I had not completely cheated on him.

“I know what you saw. I admit I'd been kissing her and suckling- ahem- I was bringing her to orgasm with my fingers so that she didn’t suspect that I am not attracted to her. I didn’t want her running her mouth to the council or putting you in firing range from the clan.” I am nervously worrying his fingers between mine as I explain myself, I don't feel the need to be let off simply because I was yet to embed my cock in her.

Renji draws from me like a cobra, beginning to shake and drops an unexpected bomb on me.

“Byakuya,” he says more seriously than I have ever seen him, “the council already knows about me and you. That is why she is their choice.”

My shaky heart skipped a beat or two. I thought I had been careful. I want to doubt what Renji said.

“You have to make love to her soon if you want them to believe you and you have to act like I don’t exist, if you want them to leave you be.”

“I can't believe you just said that, especially when you just thinking I had slept with her got you slitting your veins…”

“She came to me in my office that morning, after you were gone and said something to me that initially did not make any sense.”

“What was that?” I ask.

“She said and I quote, ‘They told me it couldn’t be done, they said no one could take Kuchiki-taicho away from you’- she said ‘they said- the one thing you already wanted you already had and that it was impossible to have one without the other.”

“I don’t understand Renji.” I sit upright at this revelation.

“Is it possible Kuchiki-taicho that the council of clan Kuchiki already knew about your blood tie to me? Because, the only way to have you without me, is if the blood tie is unbound and the only way you unbind the tie is if I ask you and you say yes.”

“I thought you said you were unaware of the binding.” I accuse him.

“I thought you said the tie doesn’t mean we are married.” He fires right back.

We look each other in the eye defiantly. He knows I am lying, I know he knew about the tie, maybe not its complete effects but like I said, Renji is not completely innocent of my blunder. I refuse to be shamed into submission by his stare. When I wouldn’t back down he continued.

“Like you said Kuchiki-Taicho, that night when I came to you, I suspected immediately there was more to the binding when my reiatsu surged to meet yours, and it deepened when it returned to me mixed with yours intricately.”

I am not saying much, I just listen; I want to know where Renji is going with this.

“At first I thought it was the result of our frequent love making sessions but that night when…” his voice cracked and went low as he blushed furiously, “… when you took me, I realized it had never been that intense. It felt like I fell into you and I was never coming out, and I no longer know where I started or where I ended.”

I smiled wistfully remembering our ‘Wedding night’.

“So when I received the blood robe delivered by Rikichi who happily informed me on what it was, I asked Kira. He told me about noble marriages and I began to suspect that although what we had done was not straightforward recognizable as a wedding, it was something deep. I also found out that blood ties must have consent. You never asked me so I assumed it was never given.”

“You gave me consent by your vows.”

“Yeah I see it now. It also explains why I couldn’t stay away from you no matter how hard I tried after the break up.”

“I waited patiently for you every night.”

“I hated you for throwing me out of your room.” He confessed.

“I hated you for not respecting my need to keep you away from the enemy. You told her everything she needed to know, enough to blackmail me.”

“She's blackmailing you?” He sounds upset.

“Yes. She said she was going to go to central 42 to report our illicit affair after I tried to call the marriage quits after your intrusion that afternoon.”

“You tried to break it off from her?” Renji asked looking surprised.

“I did. She didn’t take it kindly. She's determined to be Mrs. Kuchiki.”

“She asked me to give you to her.”

“She did?”

“Yes, that was why I was so upset when… when we quarreled. I didn't understand why you couldn’t see what she really is like.”

“I see.”

“If I don’t give you to her, she doesn’t get you?”

“No, she doesn’t. It will be a marriage in name alone. I will have to bed her until she's pregnant though. But after that I promise I would send her away, I just need you to hold on until the deed is done.”

I know I am asking for too much but I can only hope. Renji is silent in thought for a long pause before he says.

“Kuchiki-Taicho, nothing will separate me from you.”

“I want to hope that is completely true but what about Ichigo? Do you love him?” I finally ask the question I have been dreading since that morning I realized what my fukutaicho had been up to.

“I don’t.” His reply was curt.

“You whistled after…” my voice faded as I tried to hastily hide the raging jealousy that always consumes me whenever I think of my fukutaicho with anyone else, especially if that someone is Ichigo.

This time he's the one pulling me to him and saying, “I was hurting Byakuya, I'm deeply sorry.”

“I can live with it,” I say trying to reason more with myself than with him, “If you still want him, I will try to be ok with it.”

“Didn’t you hear me Byakuya? I won’t give you away.” He says sounding firm in his decision.

“Huh?”

He leaned forward and kissed me gently at first, then fiercely. My reiatsu surged to meet his and enveloped us in its typical raging like an out of control fire. I could feel him taking from me, drinking from me filling his void, his hands gripping my body painfully.

I felt faint and subsequently fell backwards in his arms as he lowered us unto the grass littered with sakura petals. He lay over me and I gave into his desire. He nudged my legs open and slotted his body between them.

When he parted the clothes between us and slid into me, I did not protest, how could I? I needed this even though I felt myself grow weaker.

“Kuchiki-taicho I love you more than you know.” he whispered into my orgasming body. I let him make love to me and when the darkness fell on me, I didn’t resist it this time.

***

When my eyes opened again, I felt cold antiseptic air fighting its way into my lungs. It felt uncomfortable.

“Kuchiki-Taicho,” Renji's deep voice alerts me to his presence on the clinics bed by my side. I pushed myself up into sitting position to look closely at him as he lay in his own bed. He looked tired and lean.

How did we end up in the hospital? I try to remember what battle we were engaged in with no success.

“Renji,” I say but my voice is a hoarse whisper, I can't sound louder than I do, “Do you remember anything?”

I'm still struggling with the muddled images in my head. The last thing and the clearest picture I have is of Kyoraku Sou-Taicho. For some reason his face keeps popping up in my mind and on it is a worried look.

“No, not really.” Renji replies.

“Is something wrong?” I ask.

“Yes and no.” He says simply.

“What is it? Tell me and I will fix it.” I say automatically.

“You already have.” He says with a small sad smile at the corners of his lips. It is a smile I don’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly appreciate everyone's patience at my irregular updates  
> thanks for all comments, kudos, repeat readings...
> 
> next chapter- we discover why calling in Urahara might've been a mistake as grave consequences arise.


	5. Desolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horror in the Kuchiki chambers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this chapter has a Dubious/Non consent theme, skip if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s not my intention to trigger anyone.

Tomorrow I get married to Karini Yuki. It’s been weeks since I was discharged from division fours isolation ward with barely any memories intact. My fukutaicho Abarai Renji is on his way to help me get ready for my wedding.

I feel his presence by my door, I look up to see him and I smile tentatively at him. Flashes of our argument in this room dance around my mind, of that evening he saw me and Karini together. I still remember the panic I felt mixed with raw anger. Now he and I have settled into a workable civility.

He comes in and kneels respectfully saying, “Kuchiki-taicho you sent for me.”

He doesn’t come close. I want him to. He never does these days. I want us to go back to when his easy smiles were for me and how he didn’t hide his vibrant personality when we were behind closed doors alone. I long for how he would rush into my room happily, with a lot of confidence, plop himself on my bed and grin, daring me silently to complain.

I never did. He never does so anymore. I cannot ask him for those things anymore, so I do what I do best. I brace myself and rein in my control.

“I need you to make corrections on some reports turned in late today. I also will need your assistance as I work on some of mine.”

“Ok Kuchiki-taicho.” He says quietly.

We arrange our work spot, spreading out papers over the low table and beside it. We set up candles and lay out the tray of sweets and sake, then sit opposite each other and begin to work in silence with the occasional drink of alcohol. It is my last night as a bachelor and this is my bachelor’s party.

Alone with Renji, working like a well-oiled machine, like we haven’t in a long time, with our fingers grazing gently as we pass paper after paper to each other, his gaze occasionally flitting to mine.

There are momentary lapses in movement and better judgment as our eyes would meet and hold for more than three heartbeats as we stare into each other’s eyes. He always meets my gaze confidently and I'm glad he does.

Eventually, my hand reaches for a sweet as his does too; the result is that our hands are clasped tight in each other’s. I see the fire in his eyes as he holds my hand. I feel his need, he feels my fear in the way my hand trembles.

I am terrified in this moment as the hour of my wedding draws closer. I am going to lose him completely. I am going to be torn apart in two. I am going to have someone else in this room and he won’t be welcome here anymore.

“Everything is going to be alright Kuchiki-Taicho.” He reassures me in a low voice that makes me want to believe him.

I give him a small smile and an accompanying nod. He lets go of my hand. Further words are unnecessary.

We work late into the morning and soon I'm dozing off as I kneel. He comes around and the table and gathers me in his arms. I go to him eagerly; I fling my arms around his neck tightly and push my face against his chest.

I feel bad for driving us into this corner where we have to steal touches and kisses. “Renji I am very sorry.” I say against his skin.

My body shudders with a combo of need, want, unchecked desire and more importantly dread. I'm not going to be able to return to him like this after tomorrow. My fear is no longer hidden. I feel as helpless as I look and the look in his eyes lets me know I look terrible.

His arms round me stroke gently and he whispers, “Hush Byakuya dear, I told you I'd take care of you. I'd take care of everything I promise.”

The erected dam within me hurls open and the outpouring of my emotions follows. I breakdown and it is ugly. I sob desperately against his neck, begging him to take me away, and to stop this constant pain I'm feeling, this torture. If he steals me away and we hide away in exile in the human world, the clan could never get us- I reason with him, he doesn’t budge though.

“We’d be on the run the rest of our lives but we would be together,” I argue.

He comforts me until I'm no longer shaking from the fear and pain. He cups my tear stained face and says as he has been doing of lately, “Byakuya it will be fine.”

As I shake my head furiously he adds, “Don’t worry, you still have me. I'm still yours. You're still mine, my only one.”

“That all ends this evening.” I cried in despair, to which he smiles sadly, reaches into his pocket and retrieves a shiny band.

“It’s about time I gave this to you.” He slides the ring unto my open palm.

It’s a gold band with an inscription on its inside, _pretty moon_.

_In life_

_In death_

_In all other lifetimes to come_

A shock wave runs through me as I remember something. It’s another lifetime when Renji said those words to me.

I gasp out loud because I remember now.

Abarai Renji is dead.

I'm sure of it in this moment. I lifted my eyes to see his lifeless zanpakuto hanging on my wall in a glass casing. The only thing of his left behind after his death. The one thing I refused to give up when they had to bury him.

I look up at him. He's ethereal form smiles at me. He seems glad to see I have come to terms with his death.

Renji is gone.

He was killed by my selfishness, my cruelty and all because I could not stand up to the council of Kuchiki clan and resist the wife they're forcing on me. I feel ashamed.

“Renji,” I whispered to the figment of my imagination.

“I'm here Byakuya. I'm always here.”

Yes he's always here with me these days, bonded to me in life and now in death. I won’t ever let him go. I will never undo the tie even though I'm losing my mind to it.

***

When the knock wakes me up, it’s late in the morning.

“Nii sama, your servants were worried.”

Rukia walks into my room already dressed up for the wedding. I get up from the floor I was crumpled upon and stagger promptly from the overwhelming headache and dizziness courtesy of my heavy drinking.

She rushed to help me steady myself on my feet, it’s not really working as I am heavier than I look. I also reek of alcohol which makes her involuntarily pull away and I fall to my knees but she seems to have a change of heart as she rushes back to me to support me under my arm.

My room reeks of alcohol and dirt. I have been a colossal mess since Renji's death, especially since that partially failed attempt to resurrect him by Urahara. He had restored his body but not his soul.

I still think back to that moment I realized Urahara had failed in getting back Renji's soul in to his body, the shock of what I had done still made me feel like dying but now I can't even follow Renji into that dead place anymore. I feel like cursing Urahara, I curse out loud instead.

“Nii Sama, I'm sorry to speak out of turn,” Rukia begins as she dumps me on the bed, “But you have to pull yourself together.”

“Rukia, leave me alone.” I protest flinging an arm at her as I try to get up and drunkenly collapse across the table I was working on. Papers scatter in the air and gently fall to the floor as I try to recollect my dream from the night before.

Only the alcohol helps me these days, it’s the only way I can see him. He comes to me in my drunken hazes and sometimes makes love to me.

I notice Rukia rushing around gathering the papers, trying her best to maintain order and a composed front.

“I said leave.” I groan. My head throbs with a bitter headache; I'm far too drunk too often these days. I moan miserably as the alcohols effect fades away leaving behind nothingness.

“No.” she says firmly, “Someone has to talk to you eventually. If he was here he would’ve been the one to.”

There's no need to ask her who she means by ‘He’.

_‘If he was here there would have been no need to talk to me, to put me_ _back_ _together.’_

I want to scream, I want to tell her to just leave me be. I say nothing as I try to struggle to my knees, I succeed and then I'm on my hands and knees attempting to crawl to my bed.

I had fallen asleep on the floor and now my body was cold and it ached as I moved. I ached all over. I ached in my chest.

“You're not the only one who lost him. It was a terrible thing he did, leaving the way he did. No goodbyes, but I believe if he had known you will end up like this, he won’t have done what he did,” she said sadly.

“You know nothing Rukia, so shut up about him already.” I feel frustrated at her words. I take it out on her.

“I also lost him. I loved him Nii-sama. I loved him far more than I should love a brother,” she confessed.

I froze.

***

Byakuya stopped short. He raised his head to stare at Rukia disbelievingly with his blood shot eyes.

“Surprised? Shocked? Why won’t you be, I never spoke about it.” She said as she walked to the nearest stool and plopped unto it tiredly.

“I was in love with him long before I fell for Kaien and he wouldn’t even look at me with anything more than the look of my big brother. I would feel frustrated and always wonder why, until I found out why.” She turned and fixed her eyes on Byakuya.

Byakuya was not having a pleasant day that was for certain. The accusing eyes of his baby sister bored through him until he couldn’t take them anymore. He turned and collapsed unto his back on his bed and closed his eyes.

That did not end the conversation as it should have, Rukia just plowed right on.

“I saw how he looked at you. I saw how he adored you. Centuries of feeling in one glance he'd give you. Then he became your fukutaicho and it only got worse. He won’t stop talking of you, he was so drunk in love with you it was embarrassing.”

Yeah, he could recall moments that were embarrassing, moments Renji had tried to hide his feelings for him long before they had begun their affair. It caused a small smile to filter unto his lips slowly. Those had been moments he had been pleased to see his affections were bearing fruit.

“It was Kuchiki-taicho this, Kuchiki-taicho that, morning, noon, night. It had hurt so badly then but I told myself it was worth it if he was happy. He hadn’t had many things in life that made him happy. He hadn’t had too many reasons for happiness.”

Byakuya's spinning head had calmed down and all he could do now was lie there and receive the scolding from his younger sister.

“I often wondered how he could be so happy with you. You treated him like nothing more than dust. Or so I thought until one day I saw it for myself. I saw the way you looked at him when you thought no one was around. It was then I realized I was wrong. I was wrong and too slow.”

That was true, he had always pretended he treated Renji differently and harshly in public but it had been a cover-up for his true feelings, Renji knew and he never seemed to mind as long as he had made up for it in the bedroom.

“Too many people had seen the way you looked at him. It was no longer a secret that the two of you were in love and were trying to be discreet about it. I regretted not confessing my feelings to him but then I also knew he would have rejected me, so I kept it all in my heart.”

She went quiet and Byakuya tried to wrap his head around her confession, one coming too late and to the wrong person. Perhaps Renji could’ve had a happy life with her, perhaps he would’ve still been alive, and perhaps he would have still been able to love him from afar.

“How… how did you feel when you realized I returned his affections? Why didn’t you say something then? Didn’t it dash your hopes? Or did you hope at some point I would chase him away with my cruelty?”

_Like I have done now?_

“I admit I had hoped for a brief moment but when I saw you both together, I also realized something else. It was unnatural what you have for him, it was scary and it made me stay away from him.” She said with a note of finality.

“I beg your pardon.” Byakuya said slowly.

“Byakuya-sama, you're obsessed with Renji, you have always been. Then and now but you have to let him go now. You have to let him rest in peace. You must undo the blood tie else you would not only run insane, you will die.”

Byakuya sat up in a flash, fixed his eyes on her as she continued saying.

“Urahara-san said and has been saying it for months now and you’ve not been listening. He was able to pull you back from the edge of the death precipice but for Abarai it was too late. Yet look at you now, your hair is almost white now. Ever since you returned, you’ve been trying to go back.”

Byakuya shifted uncomfortably as Rukia revealed they knew what was going on within him. That however made the anger well up suddenly in him. If they knew he was trying to go back to Renji, why were they stopping him? He wasn’t trying to go insane, that was just the side effects of his many failed attempts at retrieving Renji's soul from the other side.

“If you keep trying to go back to see Abarai, at that forbidden place for lost souls, you are going to die Nii sama, one day you will go there and not return.” She sounded sad, panicked and very hurt all at the same time.

“And so, what if it’s what I want? What is it to you? What is it to anyone of you? None of you understand.” He protested hotly. “He swore it to me Rukia. He swore it to me in blood. He's mine, in life and in death.”

She steeled her face after reeling back from his fierce attack of words and their meaning, then she cruelly said, “Today is the morning of your wedding, and this is what you want? You couldn’t choose him while he was alive and now you want to choose him when he's dead?”

Byakuya was silent. No one had said it to his face. It hurt. He did not have a reply for her in the face of the truth and his guilt.

“Get married today. Give Yuki your seed. Produce an heir, then you can go to him in peace. Do your duty and then you can leave.”

Rukia rose and left him alone.

He turned her words in his mind. She was right. All the clan needed was an heir. Give it to them, and then follow Abarai. He got up from his bed with new found purpose, he knew what to do.

***

Byakuya went through the motions.

The servants came in, cleaned up his room, put away his books, cleaned him up with a bath, washed his white streaked hair and dyed it black with henna, beautifully styled it with the pieces of the keisenkan and slid unto him his wedding robes.

He went through the motions almost disembodied, moving like a zombie, he said his vows- short and precise.

“With this binding of the rope, I take Karini Yuki to be lady Kuchiki, and mother of the Kuchiki heir.”

He had not bothered to call her his wife but she had smiled brilliantly, she had been happy, her dream had come true. Her smile had made him feel sick especially since she had gone out of her way to be clothed in the crimson red of his fukutaicho. She indeed was wearing the perfume he had given to Renji when times had been good.

The memories had begun to haunt him.

He forced his smiles as he accepted congratulations from guests and family members, and when Kenpachi had drawn him into a congratulatory hug and whispered, ‘My condolences Princess.’ It had been apt.

He tried his best to stay away from alcohol during the reception but the closer they drew to the night, the closer the dread fell on him. He knew he couldn’t do it. It was one thing to say insincere vows; it was quite another thing to physically give himself to her.

He felt Rukia slide a cup of mulled wine into his hands and command, “Drink it Nii sama.”

He lifted it to his lips and slid the sweet wine down; he knew as soon as it sat in his belly, this was his sisters’ way of being supportive. She had given him aid in the wine to perform his duty.

As he sat thinking about what would come next, his body beginning to shake with the effort of holding back from unleashing desire, he felt the hand of his new wife slide over his arm and stroke his chest lovingly as she said something he did not pay attention to. How could he pay any attention to her words when his body lit with liquid fire at her touch?

He gripped her hand tightly trying to stop the feeling. He was betraying his love, his heart, his Renji. He struggled to look at her as his hand clasped her hand to his chest, pressing it hard against his heaving chest. They locked eyes.

She had a triumphant look in hers as she gave him an encouraging smile. He smiled back at her as he heard himself say in a low voice, “You smell so good tonight.”

“You like my perfume?” She asked.

“I do.” His reply was curt.

“How about my dress, it’s the color you like.” She encouraged.

“Yes, you look… beautiful.” He admitted.

She was beautiful.

She was not Renji.

He blinked once. Yes, she was not Renji. He let go of her hands feeling and looking confused. He felt strong desire and Renji was… Renji…

“Let us retreat Kuchiki-Taicho.” His wife said softly, lifting him out of his chair and they abruptly exited the hall of festivities, as people whispered about how eager he seemed to be with his new bride. He knew Rukia would finish the necessities for him.

At his chambers, she rushed in and began to strip as his trusted man servant Tobu walked in to help him disrobe.

“The wedding was fixed for tonight because she's ovulating Kuchiki sama.” He whispered in his ear, giving him a squeeze of encouragement on his shoulder. It was his way of informing him, he only needed to soldier through this duty for just one night.

He was grateful, he was relieved; he was terrified, he was horny.

Naked and lustful, he fell on the spread out naked woman in his bed, she opened her legs eagerly to him and with no preambles, and he slid his hardness into her with one hard thrust. She squealed in joy and curled around him in ecstasy. He felt himself shudder in need.

He pulled out to the tip and drove in again and again and again. He felt feverish; he was burning up with need for release. His hands gripped her hips painfully; she yelped but didn’t stop responding to him like the bitch she was.

Her wet pussy was making squishing wet and obscene sounds as he thrust into her vigorously. He admitted to himself that he felt good as he fucked into her repeatedly. Her legs were thrown wide as she panted at his merciless pounding. He had never needed to be careful with Renji whenever he was this needy, and he did not think to be careful now either.

He pounded her into his bed hard and fast, chasing his desire. She suddenly went rigid beneath him, shortly before she began crying out and clawing his back as she came apart beneath him. It flung him into a moment in time, with Renji beneath him, clawing his back…

He thrust in hard and let go with a desperate groan of pain, pumping his seed into her warmth. He quickly pulled out of her as a wave of nausea overcame him and rushed to his bathroom. Throwing up helped him to clear his head temporarily, but it did not stop the tears from welling up in his eyes at what he had just done.

He washed himself up and returned to see her lying content on her side; legs closed and curled up holding in his semen. He flung himself onto the bed and fell asleep quickly.

***

He dreamed of Renji, Renji sitting on his bed and lovingly talking to him as he stroked him on his arms, then his chest, then between his legs. The strokes on his hardness drew him closer and closer to a climax. He woke up in the early hours of the morning to feel warmth beside him.

It took him three minutes to realize it was the body of his wife and not Renji. He could also remember how he had been coerced by Rukia and her into having sex with her vigorously. The guilt hit him hard. He was still aroused from the after effects of whatever was in that wine and his residual memory of the dream of Renji.

He was also in an unforgiving mood.

He pushed her unto her stomach, mounted her, spread open her ass cheeks and spat unto her winking back hole. He pushed his erect member against her clenching asshole which resisted him. She woke up with a start.

“Hold still.” He commanded as she had started struggling to get away from him.

She stilled from the clear anger in his voice. He pushed again and before she could say ‘no’, he popped into her ass with one hard thrust. She buried her face in her pillow and screamed one long undignified scream and bucked repeatedly trying to push him out of her hole with accompanied clenches.

Byakuya was taken over by the evil frustration raging beneath his skin. She struggled beneath him but he did not stop. She had wanted him and she will get him- all of him- and be grateful for it.

He pumped into her asshole harder in full hard strokes; she had not torn or bled a fact which was beginning to cause him to wonder if he really was her first ass fuck.

She was grunting with each heavy lunge into her and pleading with him to not fuck her in the ass, reminding him it was not how dignified nobles treated their wives.

“Yes, you're my wife now but you will take me as I choose to give of myself.” He grunted cruelly and thrust all the way to his root. It always felt so good buried deep in Renji's ass, Renji had taken him so well and she was going to learn to do so.

He thrust in harder not increasing his pace but sliding his hand to massage the nubbin of joy between her legs simultaneously; and soon he felt her shudder beneath him. The slut was enjoying her ass getting plugged. She was coming from being forcefully ass fucked. He began to move faster as the sick feeling of pleasure spread in his chest.

It excited him more to see her forced to take his passions and enjoy it unwillingly. He fucked her faster with mounting joy, punishing her for her scheming.

He had intended to follow the bond after their night together but the pleasure of seeing her tear stained face and quivering ass was making him change his mind. The shame mixed with disgust at her response as though she could not believe his mastery at making her feel pleasure from taking it up her tight hole, was etched on her face which she tried to hide in the pillows but he gripped her hair and forced her face towards him.

Sadistic pleasure zinged through him and his balls shot up contracting and pumping hot semen into that quivering channel. With a smirk, he pulled out to collapse unto his back feeling satisfied.

She had recoiled from him in horror but still lay on her stomach sobbing, whether from her shame, the humiliation and indignity of getting taken like a whore, or the inevitable hate for herself for responding to him, he did not know and couldn’t care less.

After looking dispassionately at her crying, he knew he should feel sorry, he should probably apologize but he felt nothing. There had been no love there, no real passion, only lust and its relief. She would receive no tenderness from him.

He got out of bed to go to his bathroom, this time to wash himself. His evil plot was forming quickly in his mind. He would continue to take that delightful ass against her will until he was sure his seed had taken and she was carrying his child.

Never again would she feel him in her pussy unless he had to put a baby in there. He shuddered at the thought and silently prayed she was already pregnant. After his heir was born, he would follow through with his plan and go to Renji at last.

The thought of the redhead was enough to make an achy sob rise to his throat. He wanted to cry at the same time scream. Memories of Renji's kisses flitted across his unseeing gaze, his tugs at his arm as they moved as one. Renji's giggles ringing in his ears from whenever he'd lost himself and come faster than he had intended.

He was aroused again. He moved his hand quickly over his hardening length, cursing the drug ravaging through his system. His thoughts were intruded upon by the memory of taking his new wife forcefully and how much he enjoyed it.

He was angry all of a sudden. It was her fault he had been drugged. It was partially due to his cowardly avoidance of the truth but he was not going to take any responsibility for that. He wanted to punish someone and he had the perfect scapegoat in his bed.

He exited the bathroom and advanced on her, she was now sobbing quietly. When he flipped her unto her stomach she realized with horror what he was about to do again.

“Byakuya No! No! No! Stop it! Please!” She begged and tried to beat him with her puny hands. She was not even a close match to his strength.

Her voice broke into a groan as he slid much easier into her wet passage, lubricated by the load of sperm he had earlier deposited in there.

“No please don’t! Kami! Please don’t.” She cried harder as his hard flesh impaled her ass for the second time the morning after their nuptials.

His thrusts were furious, communicating how angry he felt although he slid in easier. He paused briefly causing her to think he was planning to comply.

“You wanted this,” he replied panting, “Now take it with some dignity bitch. You wanted to replace my fukutaicho in every way.”

“No, I didn’t…” she protested helplessly.

“Shut up, this is what you need to do as his replacement and I can tell you're enjoying this. Look at how your legs have spread for me. Look at how your hole takes me without complaint. Deny it if you can.” He spat out angrily and began his cruel motion.

“Byakuya…” She began again.

“Its Kuchiki-taicho to you when we are like this. That’s what he called me and you will do same.” He sounded even angrier. “When I'm in your ass, its Kuchiki-Taicho. Do you understand?”

She whimpered making an unintelligible sound.

He slapped her left butt cheek hard. It would leave a print for sure.

“Do you understand?” He demanded with an added thrust for effect.

“Yes sir… Kuchiki-Taicho.” She stuttered and the pounding resumed.

He fucked into her hard and since he had had an orgasm not too long ago, he lasted longer, and she took it as quietly as she could. She did so unwillingly but still clenching and shuddering beneath him as pleasure built with his arms going around her again and his fingers finding that swollen button between her legs and he rubbed it expertly.

When she peaked again, her face flushed with shame and disgust as she cried out and moved her hips backwards actively receiving his length. Byakuya smiled in triumph, moved harder with accompanying smacks of hips to butt until he felt his mind go blank and bend inwards.

Suddenly a memory was before his eyes in full vision before he could understand what was happening. He was bent over the bench in the sakura gardens, Renji had him pinned down and sliding hard and fast into him. It was the first time Renji had ever taken him.

His thrusts increased in pace, his groaning got louder as he could feel both the pressure wrapped around his cock and the pressure splitting open his own ass. He fucked in time with the Renji in his memory and he was rushing to the end quickly.

When he came, he did so with a groan of Renji's name spilling from his lips as he spent himself into the warmth beneath him, before once again disengaging to fall unto the bed beside her.

“You monster.” She cried and slapped him hard, the tears falling freely from her eyes now, made him realize her previous tears had been faked.

She scrambled off the bed and waddled away from him as quickly as she could. He couldn’t care less, his cock twitched in satisfaction as he watched her run into the bathroom crying. He didn’t feel sorry for her; he still couldn’t feel anything save for the satisfaction from the memory of Renji. The darkness took him without warning.

***

“He drinks all the time and blacks out, then he cries in his sleep calling his dead fukutaicho. And when he's awake he works nonstop. He refuses food and even comfort.”

In the reception hall of elder Ginrei’s house, Karini made her report to the gathered Kuchiki clan elders. It had been five months after the wedding and lady Yuki was swelling with the Kuchiki heir. She looked like she had aged in just a few days.

Her usual soft beauty seemed dried up; her sharp eyes were dull, almost lifeless. Her wits and sharp tongue were practically nonexistent. She was trembling as she spoke. All was definitely not well in the Kuchiki palace.

“These are not grounds for a divorce lady Kuchiki,” one of the elders informed her curtly, “He calls out for a man who is dead and gone. He has no other living lover but you.”

If anyone had looked closely, they would have seen her flinch at the use of the word lover.

“Please!” she pleaded sounding very desperate, “Please let me leave him.”

“You are aware of the clans rules lady Kuchiki. We told you before we began, that you must seize his power. You must make him give you the _Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu_ and the missing piece of the keisenkan.”

“He's a monster.” She screamed suddenly, clearly losing her wits and composure.

“You will speak of him with respect.” The elder said in a raised voice which shocked her back to the reality that she was in front of the clan’s elders.

“He’s still your lord and the clan head. And you are pregnant with his heir.” The elder looked furious.

She cast her gaze down and assumed her meek position once more, frightened that she had given away too much. She needed to find a way to get out of the mess she currently had placed herself in. This particular elder, had always showed animosity towards her. She knew not all the elders had been in agreement with the plan to force Byakuya to remarry and have an heir and he was one of them.

Elder Ginrei with a thoughtful look on his face, began, “You bear no signs of ill treatment. It is known that he provides well for you, and you lack for nothing including his attentions each night. He is doing his duty to you properly isn’t he?”

This was it. This was the moment she should speak up and let the cat out of the bag. She swallowed hard. She couldn't do it. She couldn’t and would never be able to say what his attentions really entailed. No one would believe how often the beast had taken her in the ass, never using her pussy expect when he had bred her that first night.

She shuddered with the hate she felt for the Kuchiki head and his growing seed in her which she currently thought on ways to get rid of it, in order to be free. However, she was never left alone since she had married him and taken in, it was almost as though even the servants knew she wanted to be rid of his seed. She was miserable in every way and there was no escape

“If not anything,” Ginrei was still saying, “It seems to be you who are failing in your duties as his wife. You refuse to run his house; you refuse to be interested in the affairs of clan Kuchiki. You can't make him fall in love with you and now you are acting like a spoilt child.”

Karini Yuki began to tremble harder in fear. She realized the Kuchiki elders were already considering her a liability to their cause.

“You said you could not only compete with but totally win him over and replace Abarai. And we are all aware of how much effect Abarai had in the clan’s workings. He ran not only division six but he controlled Kuchiki-taicho's life and decisions so efficiently. That was why it was necessary to wrest power from him, why it had been necessary to get rid of him. Thankfully, he did that for us without us needing to resort to extreme measures.”

Fear drenched all over the shaking lady as she realized, the plan had always been to kill Abarai. What was she going to do now that they were coming to the conclusion she was unnecessary to them? Were they going to get rid of her now? Her only protection was the fact she was married to Kuchiki-Taicho the monster who raped her each night. It was worse than being between the devil and the deep sea.

“Abarai is dead now.” She reminded them as she had begun to sob, “But Kuchiki-taicho makes me wish he weren’t every night.”

“Does he hit you?”

“No.”

“Then lady Kuchiki, nothing else can be so bad. Please stay healthy and deliver a healthy child, you're dismissed.”

She left crying harder than she could ever remember in her life all the way home. She was disappointed. She had taken great care to make plans to call a secret meeting with the elders to request for a divorce and look where it had gotten her. Nowhere but a reminder she was not indispensible. She was doomed to her fate.

She got to their shared room, and again was reminded about how he had absolutely refused to provide her own chambers and she was forced to share living space with him. It was a room she could not change anything in the décor and she could not hide anything within it nor hide away from Kuchiki-Taicho.

‘Kuchiki-Taicho’- the phrase stuck in her head and again she shuddered at how he made her repeat his title again and again whenever he was thrusting in and out of her. She hated Abarai for cursing her life even from the grave. She hated the shell of his zanpakuto which hung in a sealed glass casing on the wall in that very room, a witness to her humiliation each night.

She was so full of hate for Renji; she wanted to resurrect him and kill him all over again. He had won the entire war she had begun. She slid open the door and went in, only to stop in her tracks, freezing in horror at the sight of her husband sitting in the room in the middle of the day.

Why was he here instead of being at work in division six? Why did he look so handsome? He had washed up and looked as clean and regal as he had before he had married her. Oddly enough she stirred between her legs, desire popping up its unwanted head. It was closely followed by the regret of knowing he would never belong to her.

He also looked furious. When alone with her, he always looked angry but whenever they had company, his two faced nature shone brightly. The slime ball would act doting and give her loving attention. But they hardly ever had company these days.

None of his friends liked her; it seemed they all blamed her for his fukutaicho's death. They refused to see her and wouldn’t invite her to their homes or for celebrations and Byakuya was always happy to go places alone. Her own friends were secretly banished from stepping foot on Kuchiki grounds.

His younger sister Rukia barely tolerated her and the Kuchiki servants avoided her as much as possible, leaving her tears and desperate fear as her only companions.

“I hear you want to leave me. You want a divorce.” He stated coldly, going straight to the point.

Yuki gasped in fright, backing towards the door as alarm spread through her body. She knew what punishment would follow.

“Come back here.” He commanded.

She had pulled the door open but in the passage stood four guards blocking her escape route. She froze looking like a terrorized deer. Resigning her fate, she turned back to him and walked in trembling.

“You backstabbing bitch, do you really think you will ever be free of me?”

Tears spilled from her eyes at his harsh words, and with a shaky voice said, “Kuchiki-taicho please forgive me. Please forgive me. Whatever I have done I did in ignorance, please forgive me.” She fell to her knees and begged with her eyes cast down.

If he knew about the meeting, that meant he also knew what was discussed and the plan of the elders to use her to get rid of Renji.

“Kuchiki-taicho please forgive me, forgive me for Renji's death I beg you.” She sounded desperate.

He was silent for a while which made her wonder what was going on in his head.

“Take this.” He said curtly. His angry voice was now controlled. He pushed a grey silk box to her. “Open it.” He commanded.

She reached for it and pulled it open. On a bed of black velvet laid a piece of the keisenkan- no, a replica of the missing piece. A feeling of hope flooded her heart. It was the first gift he had ever given her. She didn’t know when a small smile spread her lips and she looked up at Byakuya with a look of joy.

“Come here.” He said patting the bed beside him.

She knew that look in his eyes. Her face fell instantly.

“No.” she protested. She didn’t want such a meaningful moment to be marred by the memory of being forced to enjoy being taken anally.

“I won’t fuck you, I promise.”

She believed him; he never made promises to her before. She went to him and he pulled her unto his laps and wrapped his arms around her and cuddled her, his hands petting her head affectionately.

To say she was frozen in shock was an understatement. Her mouth fell open as she wanted to say something in protest but he was not hurting her. She felt the unusual urge to flee. Dealing with a loving Kuchiki-taicho was scarier than a harsh unloving one.

“I have not been treating you well. I'm sorry.” Kuchiki-taicho apologized unexpectedly.

She jumped in his arms afraid that this was an even crueler trick.

“Hush! Shh!” He petted and pacified her skittish self. “I'm well aware your health is deteriorating. I won’t touch you anymore until the baby is born, so please forgive me for… hurting you.”

She felt warm tears run down her face before she recognized that she was crying at his plea for forgiveness. She threw her arms around his neck and wept bitterly, too shocked to question his turn around.

He held her close still petting until she had exhausted herself and fell asleep. When she woke up, he was nowhere in sight. That night for the first time since they were married, Kuchiki-taicho did not come home from division six. She knew she should be happy but why did she feel so afraid.

The next day, she was informed by Byakuya's head servant that he had moved into his rooms at division six and she was not to come looking for him. That was when she also realized the accursed toothed zanpakuto no longer sat on the wall.

She knew without needing to be told, her husband intended to kill himself and rejoin his former lover in the great beyond. She sat in horror but she would say nothing. She had been giving a symbol of authority, she could protect herself now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I appreciate all who read, enjoy and follow this story  
> thanks for reading, commenting, kudos and bookmarks.


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